Public Vulnerability?

Best i can do is sitting near the exit

August 01, 2026

Are you a karaoke person? Do you long for the nights of stale beer and dulcet tones? I personally am not much of a karaoke person - my friends are very talented and many of them are good singers, I however am an alto/not very good at singing - but every time I go along I find myself having a great time, sans pressure to actually sing. Karaoke is a very vulnerable thing to do and can be very personal. As someone who is not shy about admitting that I don’t do vulnerable well, let alone public vulnerability (god get me out of there), karaoke can be daunting. Watching everyone else shed those skins and get vulnerable in person is freeing in its own way. It encourages comradery. I’m curious about what other people find themselves singing, why they do it, and whether they wished they could sing something else. As a treat, we’ve included our favorites for your general perusing.     

Stella: I Hate Myself For Loving You - Joan Jett. I always think it’s an easy song and it is but also I don’t sound good singing it lol 

Producer Bobby: As a recovering (terminal) theater kid who took a lot of voice lessons growing up, I’m actually pretty hesitant to do karaoke in fear of coming off like a pretentious shit. That’s why I go home or go big. Meatloaf’s near 8 minute epic I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That) .  I’ve actually had karaoke hosts thank me, because the song is long enough for them to have a smoke break. I will then promptly leave the location.

Erin: You’re So Vain - Carly Simon. I’ve sung this at karaoke since I was ~18. One year, after a terrible breakup, I sang it at my 23rd birthday party and my ex actually contacted me the next day demanding I admit that I had sung the song about him specifically. Irony is not dead.

As it goes, we've included things coming in the upcoming month, and a look at what's happening on our Patreon (which you can join for ~as little as a dollar~) & Discord which is open to all!

Theydees and Themtlemen, to the feelings:

STELLA:

I don’t know guys. I don’t do anything but hang out with my baby. Sometimes I watch Star Wars (I’m stuck in the Bad Batch). Sometimes I read random new 52 comics (so many mixed feelings about Brian Azzarello’s Wonder Woman). Most of the time I’m just listening to audiobooks while my baby is asleep on me. 

I read A LOT of books in June but I am reading slow AF in July. The two books I’ve completed from my shelf are Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth -which was mostly good with a meh ending - and The Lost Apothecary by Sarah Penner - bad, boring, a disappointment. 

I’m in the middle of Empire of AI Dreams and Nightmares in Sam Altman's OpenAI by Karen Hao and it is so well researched and boy is it a HUGE bummer but a MUST read. I don’t use AI willingly at all but I now am MILITANT against these freaks. 

The Air Quality and the extreme weather is really bumming me out. I am usually able to see the positive side of things, but it feels like it’s getting harder. If you can relate, let's try to remember together that all hope is not lost. There are lots of climate initiatives happening and tons of people fighting the good fight. Like in Chicago there was a whole climate week! Follow 350 Chicago on youtube because they are posting videos from the summit to watch later. Unfortunately things sometimes get worse before they get better. But better is possible! 

To be more on theme with this whole newsletter here is a  cool, short, article about the history of vidding. Always remember you would have the most boring fandom ever without out rad bored women.

ERIN:

When you’re reading this I’ll be in Berlin! I’m traveling there with sister #3 who is a straight up jetsetter and has a whole itinerary ready and handled all the travel and accommodations. I was Fry in the meme going “take my money!” I’m stoked to go back, since I went there for part of my honeymoon. My husband was also, by complete coincidence since we planned these trips separately, in Berlin recently with his girlfriend so he gave me the skinny on places I might be into. I haven’t taken a lengthy vacation like this since my honeymoon and frankly I’ve earned it.

Bizarre (positive) screamo video about counting to four my kid was into this month.

Happy birthday, Salad Fingers, you weird fuck.

It happened to me: I went to my 20th high school reunion. And you know what? It ruled. We all wished certain people had shown up, but the group that was there had a great time. I personally had no choice about whether I was going to this event because my brother in law was my class president and he knows where I live. But going in with curiosity was great. I was talking with one of the other organizers who contacted a bunch of people who straight up said to fuck off and I’m dying for him to send me that list. I’m so curious (nosey)! There were also multiple people who told me I looked exactly like I had in high school, which is absolutely a lie but it did made me feel great.

I also reconnected with two women I was close to for many years. We stopped hanging out because I was really against weed in high school (LOL), and it was awesome to have connected and smoked weed at our 10 year so we could bond again and exchange numbers at the 20th. Reunions can legit help you bury some of the hatchets, who knew. They also convinced me to do a tequila shot - who is she??

Book recommendation: Fine: A Comic About Gender by Rhea Ewing. It was excellent and included a wide array of people talking about intersecting identities in relation to gender. Rhea also includes their own journey through the herculean effort to find the right way to describe and live in their own identity. I really can’t recommend it enough, for either your own journey or for people who just want a better understanding of what it takes to be who you are.

Additionally, I went on a vacation with my family last month and had a really good time. My whole family - 4 sisters including me, mom and dad, 2 spouses, 1 boyfriend, 3 grandchildren, and a dog named Scooter - rented a big ass house for all of us with a very nice in ground pool and tried to exist together for 5 days. Other than the $500 i had to pay to smoke outside the house, it was pretty chill. For more information on that saga feel free to DM me.

PRODUCER BOBBY:

I’m typing this with 7 hours left of my 30 hour train ride to the mountains of Montana for Fire In The Mountains. The trip is a full week, and I can’t remember the last time I’ve been away from home that long. Especially not for something that is just “for me”. All I can say is therapy kicks ass, remote work is a blessing, and it’s never too late to stretch. (You should especially stretch after 23 hours on an Amtrack.)

Here, check out one of my favorite bands of all time doing a song with one of the Blackfeet tribe members who will be hosting them, and me, and a bunch of metal nerds this weekend: Enslaved - Spirit Helper

Recs this month:

Make your own music. Even, and especially, if it’s bad. It’s still yours.

This month’s Links 4 U:

Things coming this month:

  • Not Your Demo !!! We’re back??!

  • Instagram: @nydproductions you can get show announcements, hilarious clips, a truly unhinged array of reposts, and general revelry. (Upscroll? Erin is squatting her name)

  • It’s not a horror dimension, it’s Tumblr!

  • Bluesky @nydproductions - I’m going to keep talking to myself in this section until I figure out how to use this thing

Exclusive to our Patreon (it's only a dollar!) and open for all Discord!

  • Join the book club in August! Discord has all the (virtual, do not worry) meetup information!

  • Xtras on the Patreon include:

    • Unofficial Channels archive is there 4 u

    • All the show notes for every episode of X-treks

    • All of the Erin’s Not Your Demo After Darks are available, perhaps even new ones….

    • Upcoming projects theoretically go here….

And in the Discord, let’s hang out! We’ve got lots of cool little internet rooms.

  • We may be animals but we tag our spoilers!

  • …….Spider-Man??

  • Talk expansively about your experiences on LinkedIn in the Not Your Demo room  

  • Erin’s back, for real this time!, reading through smut in Stella’s Link Lounge! She’s also documenting it on our Instagram highlights, where you can view the four (4!!) part reaction video from last month’s Peggy/Stan venture. Teach me how to search. I beg.

is it hot as hell or have we all died